Albert’s Blog (20.12.06)

  • Posted by: simon
  • On: 23/12/2006 11:13:09
  • In: Me

Albert’s perspective on his early experiences in Long Eaton...


Hello everyone! It’s Albert here! I hope you like my website and have enjoyed browsing the content! I would like to take the credit for the site but I can’t! Daddy did it for me; I can only take the credit for the performances! I hope you don’t find it ‘cringy’ or think it arrogant of me (or pushy of my parents) to have a site like this but it is important tat ‘far-flung’ relatives get to follow my development as they can’t see me in the flesh on a regular basis!


As you can see, I have a fair bit of character. I mostly express it with facial expressions, gesticulation (both arms/hands and legs/feet) and hair growth which is quite prolific and eccentric! I like to be in charge and have things my own way which can put me into battle with Mummy who has her own very different ideas about what I should and shouldn’t be doing and when I should and shouldn’t be doing them. We usually come to a compromise, but only after I have had my say! I am getting better at having my say these days too . . .  for longer and much louder than I used to!

There has been much discussion about whether I look like either of my parents. I don’t think I do, which is good because I would rather look like myself! I do have moments when I look like a Cooper and I guess I also have moments when I look like a Watson but mostly I just look like me! I have extremely long arms and legs (and toes and fingers) and it will be interesting to see whether they remain so! If they do they could come in quite handy!! They could make finding clothes for me quite a challenge as I grow as I am very slender but very long, I think these limbs of mine account for quite a lot of my birth-weight (and current weight) as I have a smallish head with delicate features and I am slim in the torso, like Daddy!

Mummy and Daddy are doing quite a good job of looking after me (apart from the aforementioned issues of me getting my own way) particularly as they are really novices and learning on the job. I seem to have most of my needs met as and when required, with the exception of having a nipple to suck on for comfort; that I am not allowed much to my disappointment and frustration! They’ve got the hang of the car seats and pushchair and we have been out quite a lot. They are able to give me good baths (in a ‘Tummy Tub’ which is basically a glorified bucket that allows me to sit in foetal position and emulates the womb experience) which I thoroughly enjoy and Mummy is doing a good job of feeding me, although sometimes it doesn’t work that well and we can both get quite frustrated and tearful! I have not been dropped, forgotten about or mishandled in any way at all which is all good news and this is despite my physical strength which is quite impressive for a newborn!

Apparently Mummy, Daddy and I share this house with a cat which I believe to be a small furry creature about the same size as me. I can’t say I have noticed her around an awful lot but I do hear Daddy shout at her from time and time and very occasionally the hiss of a water-spray when she misbehaves in my vicinity. Mummy sometimes expresses the fact she feels sorry for the creature which has retreated to living on the landing! I may not have seen her much but I do hear her, usually in the late afternoon. She is nearly as loud as I am when she wants to be fed!

I hear it is soon to be a time of year called Christmas. I am not entirely sure how this will affect my day to day life. There are some rather nice tree things with beautiful lights and shiny things on in the house at the moment which I love to stare at but I believe they are not going to be there all year around, mores the pity! I have caught sight of a bright red baby grow coming into the house and have a suspicion I might be destined to wear it! I hope it isn’t too humiliating! However, if dressing up in it means that big fat fellow who wears something similar comes a-calling one of these nights, I will wear anything that makes him happy as I have heard he tends to leave things behind for small children!

There is a lot of fuss and nonsense surrounding the consumption of food over this Christmas festival thing. I can’t really understand it because as far as I am concerned, milk is the only thing anyone needs! As long as Mummy keeps that coming in liberal quantities, 24 hours a day and doesn’t contaminate it too much with these foods (and drinks) they talk of, I will be more than happy!

Anyway, I need to go now and cry or sleep or suck on my fingers or fill my nappy or something. However, I’ll be back at some stage in the new year to give you my perspective on life in Long Eaton.